What Women Really Want for Valentine’s Day


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I think gift giving can be a little intimidating, particularly for Valentine’s Day.  There is so much hype about finding the perfect gift.  For my husband and I, we don’t usually spend a lot of money on Valentine’s Day.  He is amazing at “just because” gifts, and they mean more to me than a gift he bought just because it’s a holiday.  However, if you’re one of those people who are looking for the perfect gift for the lady in your life, here are a few tips to get you motivated.  

Now, if you thought this was going to be a gift guide, you were wrong.  I’m not going to tell you what to buy, or try to sell you anything.  What I’m going to do is nudge you in the right direction.  How?  It’s actually really simple.  Reflect on her qualities, and the things she likes.  If you’re familiar with the 5 love languages, then you know that people seek a combination of the following: 

  • Gifts
  • Quality Time
  • Words of Affirmation
  • Acts of Service
  • Physical Touch

If you’re not familiar, then you can check it out here, and find out what your own love language is.  If you know the lady in your life well enough, then you should be able to recognize her love language.  

Lets take a quick look at each language!

The basic idea is that people express love the way they want to receive it.

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Receiving Gifts

If she is a gift giver, then receiving gifts is going to make her feel loved.  Is she great at giving the perfect gift, or always showering you with little surprises?  Then your girl’s love language is probably receiving gifts. Has she been talking about something she really likes or wants lately?  That’s the gift for her.  If not, are there little things that bring her joy? These are the things she always keeps around, like certain candles, a favorite perfume, or style of jewelry.  If so, show her that you’re paying attention to the little details by gifting her with the things she loves.  If you want to add a little unique touch, pair one of her usual favorites with something new, and unique to you.  

Quality Time

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This love language may be the easiest one to satisfy.  If quality time is her love language, then all you have to do is make time for her.  From an extravagant weekend getaway, to a homemade dinner for two, simply making her the focus of your attention will make her feel loved.  Find a new adventure to share together or plan some time doing something you both love, but haven’t had time for recently.   

Words of Affirmation

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If this is her love language, then she wants to hear you express your love and the things you value in her.  How do you exhibit this for Valentine’s day?  It may be writing her a series of love letters or simply taking the time to tell her exactly what she means to you.  Jazz it up by sharing those special words at a special moment.  Maybe during your Valentine’s date or snuggled together enjoying each other’s company.  Hearing how much you love her at a moment where she is the center of your attention will make a big impression.  

Acts of Service 

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Acts of service means that you are doing things for her that make her feel loved.  It’s performing things for your partner that the will appreciate.  It’s all those honey-do’s that haven’t been done yet.  It can also be taking on more of the daily activities to lighten her load.  A great way to do this for Valentine’s Day is to gift her with a coupon book of things you can do for her.  Like keeping the kids while she has a girls night.  Or letting her sleep in while you get the groceries and bathe the dog.  Just make sure you follow through, and don’t expect her to actually ask for the act.  You will probably have to take the initiative and say “today your using that coupon”.  Another way to show her acts of service for Valentine’s Day could easily be just taking the day off to spend with her and tackling those Honey-Do’s. She may love having you piddle around the house.  Ask her to keep you company while you get whatever done or take a break to share a lunch date.   

Physical Touch

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This may be the most recognized part of Valentine’s Day, other than gift giving. However, physical touch doesn’t always mean the sexy lingerie and fur cuffs you see in the stores.  While that type of intimacy is great for your relationship, there are other smaller aspects that you may not be picking up on.  For her its holding hands, or sitting with your legs touching.  It’s why she always has to have a part of her body touching you while you sleep.  Making a conscious effort to touch her more during your Valentine’s Day activities will make her feel loved.  Take time to caress her arm while you’re talking, or if you’re brave enough grab her butt while no one is looking.  

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Now What?

Take some time to really think about what your partner is like.  You should be able to recognize the things that she will appreciate, and find the perfect gift for her.  Valentine’s Day is about taking the time to show someone how much they mean to you.  It’s not about spending a lot of money, or buying the trendiest gift.  Expressing your love in a way she recognizes will bring you closer together!