When we found out that we were pregnant it was very stressful. Hubby and I had only been together for a short period of time. We were rebuilding ourselves from previous bad relationships. We were not ready to add to our family.
Combined we already had 3 boys, aged 6,4,and 13 months when we found out I was pregnant. I was terrified. Here was someone who I knew I wanted to build a strong relationship with. How was this going to affect our relationship?
When I told him, his reaction was to consider alternatives. I was not willing to consider any of them. I knew what I wanted to do. It would be with or without him. For me there was only one real option.
My conscience wouldn’t allow me to be okay with abortion or adoption. We decided to part ways that evening and re-evaluate later. When he left I never expected him to come back. We separated for a week. We ignored each other for a few days. Then we started texting. He eventually came over and we tentatively fell back into place. It was awkward in a new way. He didn’t want to think about it, and I obsessed about it.
(first doctor’s appointment)
I started sending him a text every day of one thing positive. I was determined that he stop being so negative. He was scared, worried and uncomfortable, but he went to every doctor appointment. I was feeling all of those same things, but dealing with it in a different way.
Eventually we shared the news with our families and began preparing for baby to arrive. At one point he started discussing marriage. I shot that idea down real quick. I wasn’t ready. It was too much all at once. I was still worried that our relationship wasn’t going to make it long term. I knew I would be fine as a single mom, but I didn’t want to have to do it alone.
(6 months pregnant)
During all of this he had to stay in his own home on the weekends he had his son because he had a morality clause put in his court order. It worked well for us because it gave us both time apart and time to focus on our kids.
We had really fallen into being a family, and at the end of the day we wanted to be together, not in separate homes. One weekend he asked me to marry him and I said yes. I wanted to build a family with him. One where all of our children could be together. I wanted to build a strong relationship with him. One where we could face anything together.
Once we were married we had new challenges. Blending a family, having a new baby and adjusting as newly weds. Man, we jumped in with both feet, but I wouldn’t change it for anything.